Siouxner or Later, the Internet Will Get You

From the depths of the Internet, we bring you Siouxner, the man who has claimed responsibility for altering the Adrian Peterson photo that was featured last Wednesday. First a little background and warning to Longhorn fans: You have an insurgent among you! Siouxner, obviously, is a huge Oklahoma fan and he's embedded deep in the heart of Texas (Fort Worth). Take proper precautions, have plenty of canned goods and bottled water on hand and seek shelter if needed! ... Now Siouxner says he is not related to Peterson, does not know the origin of the photo — thought to be taken early in the 2004 season in Norman — and said his altered version first appeared online in December 2004, a couple of weeks before the 2005 BCS title game. But rather than have the Wiz babble, we will let Siouxner tell the story:

Wiz: How did this develop, with your altering the photo?
Siouxner: First, you should understand the message board subculture. It's a great place for fans to "get together" and chat about their team and fight with fans from other teams. I am a regular on OUinsider.com. Before the 2005 BCS title game between OU and USC, there was a lot of smack talk going down. A fellow OU poster was having a rough go over at a USC site. They didn't seem to think that much of then-freshman Adrian Peterson. He asked for some help. I doctored the photo to put a little bit of scare in them.
The reaction from USC fans was pretty funny, as they were amazed by Peterson's size. Their whole perception changed, but eventually someone found the original. Most of them had a pretty good laugh about it. Then, of course, USC's photoshoppers or "farkers" came over and posted their fine work. It was a lot of fun, at least until their team whipped mine (55-19).

Wiz: Do you have any other "projects" floating around the Internet?
Siouxner: Sure, being a big OU fan, Oklahoma State and Texas are often the objects of my sports venom. So naturally, I have been known to post an occasional pic of an OSU Aggie player or coach violating a sheep or other farm animal. Likewise, there may have been a pic or two celebrating the forbidden love between Mack Brown and Vince Young. I mean, hey, every fan has to do his part, right?

Wiz: Is there anything you want to say independent of all of this?
Siouxner: The users of Photoshop are becoming so good that it is almost impossible to rely on anything you see anymore. I thought I was pretty decent at it, but there are some dudes out there that put me to shame. I guess the old saying applies, "If it looks too good to be true then it probably is." I am still surprised everyone believed it. I mean, Peterson looks to be 280 pounds in that pic.

Wiz: One last question: How can I be 100% certain you are the person responsible for altering the photo?
Siouxner: As far as how to prove that the alteration was my creation? Hmmm. I'm not sure I could prove that. ... I understand why you need to be sure about it. It would be rather embarrassing I would assume if I turned up to making all this up. Usually, when I alter something or make a desktop wallpaper, I save it in stages. However, that pic of Peterson was so simple that none were necessary, so I can't show you a progression. If you want me to test me somehow go right ahead and send me a pic.

Wiz: No, that's not necessary. I appreciate you taking time to give us a glimpse into the farking mind. I will note your response to the last question at the end piece to be fair and open to everybody. Thanks again!
Siouxner: One last thing: If you're a big college football fan and need to get your fix on, check out OUinsider.com. That is where you'll find me.