Doug Flutie to Blame for the Mess We're In

The root of all evil in college football has been found. Yes, we always had suspicions about Doug Flutie, and now our worst fears have been confirmed. Flutie was Boston College's quarterback in 1984, and he came out of nowhere to win the Heisman Trophy. This was quite an achievement not only for Flutie, but for Boston College, which six seasons earlier fielded a team that finished a perfect 0-11. So what happens after Flutie's heroics? Applications to Boston College soared, reportedly up 30% in two years. Now a new study of admissions data from 1988-92 by a researcher at Illinois State found that schools saw an average increase of 6.59% in applicants in the year after one of their players ranked among the top five finalists for the Heisman. So it's no wonder college administrators look the other way when star quarterback Joe Jockstrap runs afoul of the law. Jockstrap, the university's most visible student, is a meal ticket, and not even Dean Wormer would put him on double secret probation.