South Carolina Fans Have a Big Problem

Longtime South Carolina fan Charles Boan is feeling the big squeeze. The 72-year-old retiree has been attending Gamecock games since the 1950s and has kept his 5-foot-8 frame at 160 pounds. But in recent years he is finding it difficult to maneuver into his seat at 80,250-seat Williams-Brice Stadium. Why? Simply put, Boan says South Carolina fans are fat. Way too fat. The allotted space per seat — 16 inches — is simply not enough. Boan is not blaming Gamecock officials. He points the finger at America's ever-growing obesity problem. "In the '50s, we never had this problem. ... I came along before there was a Hardee's or a McDonalds," he said. Boan added that conditions have gotten so bad, he barely has room to complain. "Sometimes you are sitting there and you get a hunk of their cheek, or whatever, on your side." ... No word if the above fan has any eligibility left in case you happen to be a college coach seeking a run-stopping noseguard to beef up your goal-line defense.