Barnhouse's Bottom 25: UAB

Legendary sportswriter Wendell Barnhouse recently left the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and is now a correspondent for Big 12 Sports.com. With 30 years experience of observing the college scene, his expertise is unmatched. In the spirit of Steve Harvey's Bottom Ten, Wendell will provide us a capsule look at college football's less fortunate, counting down the Bottom 25 teams in Division I-A football.

No. 7 Alabama Birmingham
Location: Birmingham, Ala.
Nickname: Blazers.
Conference: Conference USA, East Division.
Coach: Neil Callaway, 2-10, one season.
Division I-A history: 91-96-2 in 17 seasons, .486 winning percentage.
Last bowl season: 2004.
Best record in last five years: 7-5 in 2004.
Rank(ed) because: Even when this program started out as a Division III team in 1991 (and lost its first game to Millsaps, 28-0), the Blazers never failed to win at least four games each season. In Watson Brown's final season (2006), UAB won three games. In Neil Callaway's debut season, the Blazers went one worse and won only two games. As CUSA has improved, UAB has slipped.
Negative number: In UAB's 10 losses, the Blazers gave up fewer than 30 points only once — a 25-9 loss to Memphis. In five of the losses, UAB gave up 40 or more.
Possible victory: At Tulane, Nov. 15. Selecting a conference road game is a leap of faith. But the Green Wave also reside in the Bottom 25 (No. 11). If UAB hasn't lost hope by this point of the season, this is a game it should win.
Biggest blowout: At Tennessee, Sept. 13. The Volunteers will be looking to move up in the polls and tune up for their game with Florida the following Saturday. The Blazers have to hope Tennessee is lacking focus.
Is there hope?: A number of players left the team before last season because of raised standards in academics, offseason behavior and workouts. That reduced the roster to 60 scholarship players and contributed to the 2-10 record, but Callaway believes that sent a message and that his staff is recruiting solid citizens who also are good players.

Thanks to the Helmet Project.

Kansas State

Are Kansas State players about to have an afterlife experience? This poster schedule depicts the Wildcats in the tunnel entering Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium. Some fans are questioning if Kansas State is headed in the right direction after the team imploded in the second half of 2007, giving up an average of 49.5 points in the final four games. Nonetheless, Ron Prince was given a new contract.

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Reporters Notebooks

Patrick Reusse, Minneapolis Star Tribune: Minnesota coach Tim Brewster's speech at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul was a good hot-air test for the Republican National Convention that will be held in the building early next month.

Scott Dochterman, Cedar Rapids Gazette: The Big Ten Network has reached an agreement with Mediacom, the largest cable provider in Iowa.

Don Walker, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: The dispute between the Big Ten Network and Time Warner continued when the cable operator offered to air two Wisconsin games on a pay-per-view basis, with the proceeds going to the university.

Barry Jackson, Miami Herald: Miami suspended quarterback Robert Marve for the opener against always-tough Charleston Southern. That means freshman Jacory Harris is expected to start Thursday night's game.

Andrea Cohen, Oklahoman: Oklahoma State and Texas Tech officials can't decide where to play their 2009 game in Dallas. Oklahoma State and T. Boone Pickens want to play at the new Dallas Cowboys stadium. Tech officials want to use the Cotton Bowl, in part because former Red Raider quarterback John Scovell is on the Cotton Bowl Athletic Association Board.

Pat Harty, Iowa City Press-Citizen: Iowa has no business being a .500 team, but if it goes 6-6 again, things are going to turn ugly.

Andrew Logue, Des Moines Register: Austen Arnaud will start at quarterback for Iowa State, which opens the season Thursday against South Dakota State.

Joe Ovies, 850 The Blog: Redshirt freshman Russell Wilson will start at quarterback for North Carolina State in the opener Thursday against the South Carolina.

Bob Wieneke, South Bend Tribune: Notre Dame starting tight end Mike Ragone will miss the season after surgery to repair the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee.

Luke Meredith, Associated Press: If you're looking to find rosters to fill in the blanks for EA Sports' NCAA Football '09, check out Game Rosters.com.

Barnhouse's Bottom 25: Louisiana Lafayette

Legendary sportswriter Wendell Barnhouse recently left the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and is now a correspondent for Big 12 Sports.com. With 30 years experience of observing the college scene, his expertise is unmatched. In the spirit of Steve Harvey's Bottom Ten, Wendell will provide us a capsule look at college football's less fortunate, counting down the Bottom 25 teams in Division I-A football.

No. 8 Louisiana Lafayette
Location: Lafayette, La.
Nickname: Ragin' Cajuns.
Conference: Sun Belt.
Coach: Rickey Bustle, 26-44 in six seasons.
Division I-A history: 460-489-31 in 100 seasons, .485 winning percentage.
Last bowl season: None. (Louisiana Lafayette played in the 1970 Grantland Rice Bowl, which is not recognized as a "major" bowl game.)
Best record in last five years: 6-5 in 2005.
Rank(ed) because: Bustle, a former Virignia Tech assistant, has a program that is built on a solid rushing attack (seventh in the Division I-A last season with 250 yards per game. The Ragin' Cajuns, though, can't do much else. They were 100th or worse in six statistical categories — passing offense, net punting, punt returns, rushing defense, total defense, scoring defense.
Negative number: 21. The scoring margin in last season's 38-17 loss at home to McNeese State, which in case you don't keep track of things is a Division I-AA team. Losing to a I-AA team — bad. Losing to a I-AA team that can use the victory as a bargaining chip for recruits in your home state — worse.
Possible victory: Florida International, Nov. 1. The visitors are one of the few teams that are ranked better (worse?) in the Bottom 25 than La-La. Considering the schedule before this game, the Ragin' Cajuns might be seeking their first victory when the Panthers travel to Louisiana.
Biggest blowout: At Illinois, Sept. 13. Playing a road game against a solid Big Ten team is a two-course menu for a big loss.
Is there hope?: Everywhere but in the win column. Bustle can boast of his team's classroom work that is producing an upward-tracking Academic Progress Rate. Season ticket sales are up, the school has built a new indoor practice facility with a new weight room next for construction. But the Ragin' Cajuns don't appear capable of moving North of the six-win level.

Thanks to the Helmet Project.

More Trouble Brewing at Alabama

Seriously, what have the good people of Alabama done to deserve this?

Tom Arnold, left, the pride of Ottumwa, Iowa, whose erratic behavior has become a source of embarrassment to Hawkeye fans, has apparently turned his back on his former university. He was spotted Thursday in Tuscaloosa, schmoozing with Nick Saban, joking with athletic director Mal Moore and attending an Alabama practice.

Arnold, whose major Hollywood accomplishment was marrying Roseanne Barr, reportedly claimed his son will one day play at Alabama.

One problem with this. Arnold doesn't have a son. At least not yet.

This came shortly after a report that Saban may have complained about his being shorter in a Coca-Cola advertising campaign using a cardboard cut-out of the coach alongside colleagues Tommy Tuberville and Houston Nutt (thanks to EDSBS). The cut-outs were eventually made the same size, much to the surprise of Nutt, reportedly the tallest member of the three Southeastern Conference coaches.

All this followed our earlier report of Alabama bringing in the Pacific Institute to help players with mental conditioning/character development issues. An anonymous reader took note of the affirmations given to Crimson Tide players and came up with one for Saban:

"I am the unquestioned master of my domain. My power frustrates all who live in my world. There is nothing regarding the football program that is not under my micro-management control. My power is important to me! I will out-recruit, out-work, out-earn and out-maneuver any and all of my coaching peers. I am committed to returning Alabama football to its rightful place among college football's elite. I will entertain other job offers if they offer me more money but I will believe my own words when I say that I am not interested in other jobs. My methods are perfect. I close practices unless allowing in certain people benefits myself or my program. I learned by secretive ways from the best but I am even better than my teachers. I control the media! I control the fans! I CONTROL ALABAMA FOOTBALL!"

Ohio State Tops Preseason BCS Standings

Huh? That's right, we have the preseason Bowl Championship Series standings in hand, thanks to Sam Chi, the BCS Guru, and Ohio State — the team everybody loves to hate — is No. 1.

USC is No. 2, making the Sept. 13 meeting between the Buckeyes and Trojans at the L.A. Coliseum of Herculean importance. Georgia is No. 3, Oklahoma sits at No. 4 and Florida resides at No. 5. The rest of the top 10: No. 6 Missouri, No. 7 Louisiana State, No. 8 West Virginia, No. 9 Clemson and No. 10 Texas. Every team that received at least a single vote in the Associated Press or coaches poll is placed in Sam's BCS standings, all the way down to a tie for 57th between Washington and Hawaii.

What is Sam's methodology for his preseason rankings? He writes: "It's the same formula that produces the official BCS standings, with two exceptions: 1) Since the Harris Interactive Poll that accounts for 1/3 of the standings won't be available until late September, the AP poll is used in its place; 2) None of the six BCS computers publish preseason ratings, so ratings from 20 computers that do are used. The highest and lowest ratings for each team are discarded, and the remaining 18 averaged to produce the computer score."

The first set of official standings won't be released until Sunday, Oct. 12, but Wiz readers will once again be ahead of the curve in 2008. Sam will be providing us with updated standings on Saturday nights throughout the season so you'll know about 18 hours in advance of the "official" announcement on Fox of where your team stands each week.