We have good news and bad news for West Virginia fans. First the bad news: Mark Mathis, our pigskin prophet, is here to shake things up. He's going to make fun of you and we are going to laugh and laugh hard at your expense. Now before you get angry, here's the good news: In the end, you will have the last laugh. Why? Because the beloved Mountaineers are going to beat Louisville on Thursday night in our game of the week. This is certain to ignite a new round of couch burnings in Morgantown. Take this to the bank because Mathis' record is a sparkling 8-1. Those who have been following our advice have already put a sizable down on that new Ferrari. So let's do this! Mark, take it away:
"When I lived in Charlotte I went to the Continental Tire Bowl. Next to Oklahoma, West Virginians are second on my list. Those people are crazier than a bucket full of squirrels and dumber than a box full of hair!
"Question: Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?
Answer: There's nothing worth crapping on!"
"Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush."
"Why do folks from West Virginia go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? Seventeen and under not admitted. ... Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. ... Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park."
"West Virginia still wins, 34-28. Clear at kickoff with a gametime temperature of 45 and a north wind. Peace out!"
C. Ray Hall, Louisville Courier-Journal: This is the biggest game in the history of Louisville football and scalpers are cashing in.
Mickey Furfari, Charleston Daily Mail: Perhaps the Big East made a mistake in accepting Louisville as a member.
Chris Dufresne, Los Angeles Times: It's the moment of truth for West Virginia, which should have an inside track to the BCS title game with a victory.
Louisville Courier-Journal: What do the experts think? The paper gets the breakdown from members of the national media.
We Must Ignite This Couch: The West Virginia fan site comes with this note of caution: This site is for entertainment purposes only.